How to (not) Do Your Summer Writing Homework

1.) Hate Everything You Start to Write

Start writing about a character who works for the security department at a department store, and vibe with it for a couple pages, then get stuck and delete all of it because it suddenly has gone from interesting to boring and suckish. Stop writing for the day and start again the next thing to have the same thing happen, this time though it is because the fiction story you started writing is really about your own life and too obviously so.

2.) Get Distracted by Anything

Sit down to start writing and realize you might get thirsty in a little? Go get something to drink right now!  Sit down to write and see your cat walk by?  Get up and give him a cat treat!  Sit down to start writing and realize you’ll probably need new boots for this fall?  Get off microsoft word and head to and check out the Chloe and Miu Miu boots you obviously can’t afford just for fun!  Go you!

3.) No Time To Do Anything, Let Alone Write

Work at the mall and intern for a production company, doing one or both at least 5 days a week.  Feel exhausted from working and need to take daily naps.  Your lunches start to consist of goat cheese pizza or homemade chinese noodles, so you now feel the need to spend any free time at the gym.  Realize you miss your college social life as well, so spend any left over free time hanging out with other humans.  Realize you have about 30 minutes a week you could devote to writing, but realize that likely wont happen.

4.) Don’t Know What the HW Is…

Lost the syllabus packet you received at the end of the year, so you have a sort of legitimate excuse for not knowing what the hw is.  Then realize that it’s also posted online so try and log in and see what its all about, but realize you have a late bill so they have locked you out of the online system sooo you actually really can’t see the homework!  No worries at all.


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